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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?